Oh I absolutely recognise that there are situations which I might not feel violated in but which someone else would, and would support their claim to have been raped. And if they wanted to press charges I'd support them even if I'd not do the same for myself, yes.

I think there are probably some *very* hard (and rare) edge cases where someone feels raped even though the perpetrator couldn't have been expected to realise it would have that affect. In which case I'd feel pretty sorry for both parties.