ewx | Human Virus Scanner (Reply)

The virus that have infected you will be show here along with thier(sic) cures, if known.

Viruses you suffer from:

Linux: Install the latest version of Microsoft Windows. Learn to love it.
Junkfood: Eat some real food. Something which you can identify the source of every ingredient, not the point of manufacture.
Sci-fi: Stop wearing the stick-on ears.
Free BSD: The GPL isn't that bad really. Adopt a penguin at the zoo.
BBCB: CTRL-Break, and get a real computer. Repeat: "Mode 7 was not a good thing."
8-Bit: Polygons, all the polygons you can get are not enough.
British: No need for cure. Benign virus.
UNIX: Anything this old must be obselete. Go and install a nice modern operating system. I hear MSDOS has come a long way lately.
Religion: Read "God's Debris" by Scott Adams (yes, the Dilbert guy)
Discordia: Buy a suit. Invest your money. Eat hotdog buns on a friday.
vi: Escape Meta Alt Control Shift.
Politics: Stop caring!
Computer Games: Stop staring at the screen and get some fresh air. You should see a doctor about the RSI in your thumbs.
Conspiracy Theory: Face it, the elected government is in control. Actually that's quite scary.
Environmentalism: Consume more stuff! It's easier to buy new stuff than to recycle.
Macintosh: Use a mouse with more than one button.

USA (90%): Rule, Britannia! Britannia rule the waves! [repeat]
Amiga (70%): Gnome is better than workbench. BEOS is better than Amiga OS. The TV Modulator was a pain in the arse and an EXTERNAL power pack? I ask you. And it didn't have a built in MIDI port like some of its rivals.
Gaming (70%): Life is not a game. Roll 3D6. On a 4 or more go out and do something with your life.
Brand Names (95%): Having a well-known name doesn't make it good.
X11 (60%): I hear Mac OS 10 Aqua is nice at this time of year.
Hippyism (93%): Free love is passe and potentially dangerous, and patchouli smells like cat piss.