Transcript

Morten: Good morning gentlemen, good morning ladies. No need to storm the fortress!

Journalist: Is Miss Painter here?

Another journalist: Yes, is she here?

Morten: No. The madam is not here at the moment but if you would follow me we shall proceed with a conducted tour of the premises.

Morten: This way please, this way.

Journalist: [unclear] people in wheelchairs?

Morten: Well, there was a minimal charge, but yes, it's true sir, everything's true sir. All in good time.

Morten: (addressing the room) My name is Morten, ex-Wing Commander. Since my retirement I have devoted my life to transvestitism and sexual deviation, and I'm now a very happy man, having escaped from an extremely overcrowded closet.

Morten: Here, catering for the tastes of the older gentleman, here is the lounge where clients relax with a bridge sandwich and a gin and tonic before going with the lady of their choice, thus undermining the moral fabric of the nation. But let me take you to where I know you are longing to go - upstairs, to reveal the exotic underbelly of our beloved country.

Morten: Follow in the footsteps of fathers and grandfathers, fornicators all! If in your innocence there is anything you do not understand, if there is anything you wish to see, do not hesitate to ask, for in this house, we have nothing do hide.

(from Personal Services)