Chocolate frogs are made of people

[ewx]

My theory about how to avoid Harry Potter spoilers is that people should invent as many bogus but plausible spoilers as possible; any real ones will be lost in the noise.

What's your favorite made-up but plausible-sounding¹ Harry Potter spoiler?

¹ or just funny

Comments

[gareth-rees.livejournal.com]

Voldemort turns out to be Harry's father.
Voldemort has a change of heart at the last minute and dies saving Harry from Snape.
Dumbledore wasn't dead after all, he emerges from hiding to save the day.
The teacher of the Defense Against the Dark Arts course turns out to be an ordinary wizard, and not disguised or lying in any way.
It turns out that Harry's owl is a Death Eater.

[(Anonymous)]

You must have read a pirate copy. Actually, Voldemort is Harry's grandfather.

The book reveals that Harry's mother Lily is actually the daughter of Tom Riddle and McGonagall (McGonagall got pregnant at school and as Riddle didn't want anything to do with it she gave Lily away to be adopted by the Evans family).

At the end of the book Voldemort kills Harry and then finds out what Dumbledore meant when he said "there are somethings worse than death" - as he celebrates he doesn't notice Dolores Umbridge cast the spell "Betrothius" ...

[gareth-rees.livejournal.com]

Oops, I got one right. Sorry folks, it was an accident, I promise.