This is a tricky one. Assuming you only get to choose the party and not the specific MP then you should really go for whoever is likely to warrant the bigger story, and hence more cash for me.
There are 356 Labour MPs vs. 198 Conservative. If I happen to have an affair with any of the front benchers then I reckon I'll get equal money, but I think labour back benchers might be worth more - so we could work out some probabilities there.
I think a gay relationship might cause more of a splash, but I think I'd get less money because fewer people would want to read the sordid details. I think my best bet would actually be a female MP, and her secretary.
Gosh, this is all a bit complicated, clearly we need to conduct an experiment on how to maximise your monetary gain from affairs with MPs, then I might be able to make a decision.
I intend only to do this in an attempt to bribe my way into political corruption, and for no other reason. So whoever was in power at the time. I do reserve the right to lie back and think of England.
It's just Tories! Arrogance, public-school accent, money, power, and well-tailored suits. Rrrrr. Unfortunately all the sexiest ones are probably gay... but if I start thinking about HOT TORY BOYKISSING I might just explode.
Boris is adorable, though, like a great big clumsy kitten. I want to wrap him up in a blanket and feed him jelly-babies!
As for female Tories... actually, I'm not convinced there are any sexy women in British politics at the moment, in any party. Open to suggestions, though.
I have often been called a Nazi, and, although it is unfair, I don't let it bother me. I don't let it bother me for one simple reason. No one has ever had a fantasy about being tied to a bed and sexually ravished by someone dressed as a liberal.
Entirely, absolutely false. O'Rourke just had no understanding of what drives youth socialism. It's not just clueless youthful enthusiasm, it's hormones as well. A hotbed of hot beds. Leadership is inherently sexy. Even George Bush the Elder had groupies. (Which shows there's not much lower than a political groupie.) Dynamic phrases in a small group with a sense of purpose gets the chicks. Doesn't matter what the purpose is. Younger leaders and followers are also unhindered by cluefulness or experience. I once started reading this history of Australian communism: The Reds by Stuart Macintyre. (This is a real book.) It completely failed to go into the real cause of all the splinter groups splintering and reforming: the history of your hundreds of People's Fronts of Judaea is someone sleeping with someone that someone else thought they shouldn't have and declaring a schism. Notice how well ideological lines match with a who-bonked-who chart. And the big draw is: where else are you going to find that many intelligent young women with shaven heads, overalls, Doc Marten boots and all their original body hair, who are nevertheless mostly heterosexual? COMMUNISM IS CAUSED BY DYKE FETISHISM. "Thesis!" "Antithesis!" "Thesis!" "Antithesis!" "THESIS!" "ANTHITHESSSISSSSSSSS ..." (together) "Syyynnnthessissss ..." Thank you.
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Date: 2006-05-08 02:56 pm (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: 2006-05-08 03:11 pm (UTC)Not many Isabelle Adjani lookalikes though are there? "Showbiz for ugly people" and all that.
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Date: 2006-05-08 03:14 pm (UTC)There are 356 Labour MPs vs. 198 Conservative. If I happen to have an affair with any of the front benchers then I reckon I'll get equal money, but I think labour back benchers might be worth more - so we could work out some probabilities there.
I think a gay relationship might cause more of a splash, but I think I'd get less money because fewer people would want to read the sordid details. I think my best bet would actually be a female MP, and her secretary.
Gosh, this is all a bit complicated, clearly we need to conduct an experiment on how to maximise your monetary gain from affairs with MPs, then I might be able to make a decision.
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Date: 2006-05-08 03:17 pm (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: 2006-05-08 11:10 pm (UTC)I just don't think of him as an MP!
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Date: 2006-05-08 04:24 pm (UTC)Boris is adorable, though, like a great big clumsy kitten. I want to wrap him up in a blanket and feed him jelly-babies!
As for female Tories... actually, I'm not convinced there are any sexy women in British politics at the moment, in any party. Open to suggestions, though.
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Date: 2006-05-08 09:56 pm (UTC)I hope and pray that I'm never that desperate for sex.