Human Virus Scanner

[ewx]

via beingjdc

The virus that have infected you will be show here along with thier(sic) cures, if known.

Viruses you suffer from:

Linux

Install the latest version of Microsoft Windows. Learn to love it.

Junkfood

Eat some real food. Something which you can identify the source of every ingredient, not the point of manufacture.

Sci-fi

Stop wearing the stick-on ears.

Free BSD

The GPL isn't that bad really. Adopt a penguin at the zoo.

BBCB

CTRL-Break, and get a real computer. Repeat: "Mode 7 was not a good thing."

8-Bit

Polygons, all the polygons you can get are not enough.

British

No need for cure. Benign virus.

UNIX

Anything this old must be obselete. Go and install a nice modern operating system. I hear MSDOS has come a long way lately.

Religion

Read "God's Debris" by Scott Adams (yes, the Dilbert guy)

Discordia

Buy a suit. Invest your money. Eat hotdog buns on a friday.

vi

Escape Meta Alt Control Shift.

Politics

Stop caring!

Computer Games

Stop staring at the screen and get some fresh air. You should see a doctor about the RSI in your thumbs.

Conspiracy Theory

Face it, the elected government is in control. Actually that's quite scary.

Environmentalism

Consume more stuff! It's easier to buy new stuff than to recycle.

Macintosh

Use a mouse with more than one button.

Viruses you might suffer from:

USA (90%)

Rule, Britannia! Britannia rule the waves! [repeat]

Amiga (70%)

Gnome is better than workbench. BEOS is better than Amiga OS. The TV Modulator was a pain in the arse and an EXTERNAL power pack? I ask you. And it didn't have a built in MIDI port like some of its rivals.

Gaming (70%)

Life is not a game. Roll 3D6. On a 4 or more go out and do something with your life.

Brand Names (95%)

Having a well-known name doesn't make it good.

X11 (60%)

I hear Mac OS 10 Aqua is nice at this time of year.

Hippyism (93%)

Free love is passe and potentially dangerous, and patchouli smells like cat piss.

http://totl.net/VirusScanner if you want a go.

Comments

[damerell.livejournal.com]

Now, imagine you are a typical teenage boy.

Your father comes to you one day and says; "Hey, come and live with me in my enormous top-secret military base."

Subsequently you discover that you will pilot 200 feet of armoured death, and in your spare time you will live with a nubile and attractive woman who not only normally hangs about half-dressed and drunk, but will gladly share her beer with you. And a _penguin_.

If for some reason your response is not estatic joy but instead "But, faather, I don't _want_ a robot", you may be Prozac poster-child Shinji Ikari.

Megumi Ogata is really his only redeeming characteristic.